It's Been a While

Hi everyone! I know that it has been a while, I'll start off with a big thank you to everyone for all of your help. The meals are delicious and the little surprises for the girls have made their day(s). As most of you know we have been so blessed to have David working locally. Currently he leaves on Thurs. mornings and arrives back home on Saturday afternoons. This is great for taking care of me and the girls. We get them ready for school and he drives them Mon-Thurs. and they spend Thurs and Fri night with my mom and dad. Mom goes into work late on Fris so that she can take the girls to school. Last week Laila started going to the preschool at Gar-Field also. She has fun and Mom and I feel it is much better than her sitting in an office all day. I am getting better (slowly), so hopefully we will start a new schedule soon...one with me involved.
We have been spending a lot of time with doctors which I have been very unhappy about because I am supposed to be on a break. I did not really start feeling the side effects until the middle of Jan. and it hit me like a train. I tried to continue my life in slow motion, but it was no use. I finally realized that I was again a patient and needed to act like one. I went for my scan in Jan and was told that I was stable, but had to endure 2 more rounds(months) of chemo. I did my full day on Jan 23, but had a low fever on Feb 6th~no chemo, they did xrays, blood work and blood cultures. Nothing showed up. Mom and Dad kept the kids for a long weekend because David and Jo Ann went to NC to visit Nanny (she was just diagnosed with late stage myeloma) and was very sick and Laila had a fever. David came home late Mon night and the next day I had an apt. with Dr. Malik. We decided at that apt not to go thru with my last round of chemo because my body was so broken down and could not handle any more. I was upset about this at first thinking the more I do now, the less likely this will come back later. When Dr. Malik informed me that one more round of chemo while I was stable would only give me a 3-4% chance of it not coming back I felt a huge sense of relief. On the way home we took Laila to her docs. They told us that she had a virus...isn't it always? I was feeling worse on Thurs, but had no fever when David left for work. I told my mom that I was feeling fine and did not need her to come help with the kids that evening. I made the kids dinner and finally took my temp. it was 103.6, bad for anyone, but horrible for a cancer patient! I called the oncologist on call, waited an hour for him to call back. I was delusional thinking that I could take some tylenol and see my doc the next day. He told me that I had to go to the ER, but allowed me to go to our local ER instead of driving all the way to Georgetown. Dad came and got the kids, Mom drove me to the ER. Happy Valentine's Day!:( I was lucky that they were not busy and they took me back almost immediately. The 1st thermometer read 100 I asked my nurse to take it with a dif thermometer and it read 103.6. I was glad that I spoke up because with such a dif in temps I am sure they thought I was a hypochondriac at first. It took what seemed like forever for the doc from Georgetown to call the hospital back, but the ER doc stepped up while we were waiting. I had blood work (including cultures) chest xrays, fluids and iv antibiotics while we waited. After all of that the doctor came in and said that she and the other doctor recommended that I stay for a transfusion. I reluctantly allowed them to admit me only because they told me that I would be going home the next day. DON'T GO TO THE ER, THEY'LL KEEP YOU! I checked into my room around 3, received my blood around 4 and finally talked my mom into leaving around 4:30. Glad she was there though, thanks Mom! ~Little info about our local hospital~ I was told that I was going to receive at least 2 units of blood, when I asked the 2nd day about the transfusion I was told that I was still losing a lot of blood and they were not going to give me any more. WOW save it for people that have enough then. 4 days, 1 unit of blood, 4 units of antibiotics, 6 units of potassium, 3 units of magnesium, 4 white cell shots, and 1 red cell shot later I was discharged. (Guess I needed to be there.) They only let me go because I had an apt in Georgetown the next day. David drove me to my colonoscopy, cauterization to clear up some of the radiation side effects. I have not been doing much better, but have been trying. I still can't eat with out getting sick, but have another colonoscopy on Mon.
Pray that this is the end of it, all of it. I would just like to get back to normal, the girls are sick of it too. Laila is doing ok, but not well. Savannah is doing well in school, she is in a 1st grade reading/writing group and we are so proud. She is reading Dr. Seuss and Mercer Meyer books at home~some are pretty hard, but she never gives up :) Laila is finally writing letters, and small words~she could before, she just refused. They both yell alot and have started getting in and out of bed for hours every night. David has been trying, but is having a very hard time with everything. He has never had to really clean and cook before. He has almost mastered the laundry, but the jury is out on everything else. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly. Kallie is still not speaking to me. In early Oct. I received a message from her my space from someone pretending to be her. This has happened several times in the past thru email and caused many problems. I was not willing to fall into the trap again and had her password changed. We talked and I reminded her of our password rules/agreement, she told me of the ones at her Dad's (they wanted them). Anyways, I would not give her the password because I knew that the past would become my present and I refuse to allow that to happen again. David has kept in contact for me of course (until I get well) and kept me updated. Since Oct. grades have fallen, she is in trouble again and they have asked us to take Kallie back. After long discussions and a lot of prayer and crying we decided that we just could not do it right now. We decided that I needed to finish treatments and get well before this could happen. I still feel extreme amounts of guilt and know that she will never understand why she could not move. However stress is also a major factor in my recovery (that is why David does not tell me everything). We will discuss it again with everyone when I am well.
I know I started rambling, that's the latest and I'm hoping to have some good news soon. I think of all of you often. I told you that if we ever slowed down life would be boring, but a little bit of boring couldn't hurt.
I Love you all!! Love, Tracy

December 4, 2007

Hi guys! Sorry that I did not post last week. Unfortunately I was extremely sick. It was the first time that I threw up. I am so glad that I was still at the hospital, I was sitting in the hall because the infusion center was so hot and it was making me feel awful. Suzy and a few of the nurses came to my rescue. Before the nurses were in the hall with me some lady started rubbing my back and called Beth (one of the nurses) to get help. Suzy kept trying to tell the woman that they were taking care of me, but she was not satisfied. I found out why yesterday...She is the VP of Georgetown!! I was told if I was going to throw up on someone, might as well make it someone important! (Glad I didn't though) The nurses were not happy that I was sick, but were very grateful that it happened where and when it did. They told me that they can talk until they are blue in the face, but until the suits see it for themselves nothing happens. The infusion center was not as hot yesterday, maybe it worked a little. God is so good. My "kick butt nurse" as Suzy calls her helped to come up with a different mix of my pre-meds. So far so good. I am a little shakey and only a tad nauseas, thank God again! I am extremely tired though, I think that the anxiety of getting all the holiday stuff done on time is part of that. Thank you for offers to help, I will let you guys know if I need it. It is my absolute most favorite time of the year and I love doing everything. But I know when I need help and I will ask so that my family has a fabulous Christmas. Back to my treatments, I had my MRI on Sun. David drove me up there. The girls stayed with Tony and JoAnn. Thanks guys!! They had a great time watching the Redskins throw away another game. Come on Skins, I'd say get it together, but it's a little late for that. On a brighter note they went to a neighbors and ate and played all afternoon. Suzy drove me to chemo both Mondays. Thank you Suzy!! I forgot to confirm that she was going yesterday and ended up calling her around 9:30 to ask for a ride. She had no problem and came right over and off we went. I felt bad because that put us in afternoon traffic when we left the hospital, but Suzy is now a professional driver and had no problems. Your awesome Suz! Dawn N picked up the girls from school and kept them until I got home yesterday. Thank you Dawn! They had a great time!
Great news at David's job...He is now on a regular run:} He was working on what is called the extra board with about 15 others, which means he called every morning to see when and if he was working. Winter is very slow on the extra board and sometimes drivers are lucky if they work 30 hours! His route runs Thurs afternoon until Sat afternoon. We are all so happy and excited.
Savannah has her first loose tooth! She is eating apples faster than Johnny Appleseed planted them!
Mom is leaving for the Bahamas on Thurs, she needs and deserves this trip. Take care of her Sheila. Have a great time!
I'll talk to you guys later!
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, meals, and play dates. They are very appreciated!
I love you all!! Love, Tracy

November 19, 2007

David was able to drive me to Georgetown today. I am so glad that he was with me for my appointment. Love you Honey! The scan was well worth being sick on my birthday. I don't know who was more excited, Dr. Malik or me. My nodules have shrunk:) After only 2 rounds of chemo they have shrunk from 1.1cm x 1.0cm to 0.4cm x 0.3cm. That is so wonderful. I will go thru 2 more rounds of chemo and scan again. After my next treatment I have to go for an MRI because of my headaches and falling. I have not really been dizzy, but have been falling. Last Thurs. I fell down the stairs, no warning, I didn't slip because I fell straight on my back, not on my tush. Boy did that hurt. Coincidentaly Savannah and my mom had dental appointments today. Mary's mom picked Sas up from school for me and dropped her off with mom. No cavities:) Thank you Mary, Maw Maw, and Mom!! Heidi picked Laila up from school and kept her until Mom picked her up. Thank you Mom and Heidi!! I love you all!! Love, Tracy

November 15, 2007

It's my birthday! I am celebrating by having a CT scan. Yea, it was supposed to be tomorrow. Laila's Thanksgiving feast @ school is today. I was very excited about going, I was at the hospital receiving chemo last year and missed that one too. David went with Laila so she was ok. Suzy drove me for my scan. Thank you Suzy!! Did not do much else as the barrium makes me sick. YUCK!!! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I love you all!! Love, Tracy

November 12, 2007

I know it has been a while since I have posted...sorry guys! I had chemo today, Mom drove me to Georgetown, thank you Mom!! We played on the computer a little, and talked with a lady that we met last spring, Dorothy. She and her husband, Jordan have both been diagnosed with cancer, Jordan with small-cell also. When I asked her how Jordan was doing she started crying and let me know that he passed away this past summer. That was hard to hear. They were so cute together (both in their 70's) and he was such a funny man to talk to. Not in a Robin Williams way, but in a House sort of way. Dorothy sat with Mom and I and we showed her pictures of the girls. That cheered her up.
Everything went well, Rachel was my nurse today. She was great and got us out of there before heavy traffic. Thank you Rachel!!
I love you all!!
Love, Tracy

Parent/Teacher Conference

OK, I am not one for bragging, especially about my girls (cough, cough), but my conference with Savannah's teacher was great. She knows all of her letter sounds, and all letters (she mixed up lower case g and q), and knows all but 3 blends. She knows all #'s to 100, shapes, and all of the coins. And while we have been reading level 1 books with her, she is reading on level 3! Mrs. Cracknell let me know that she is ready for the beginning of 1st grade.
Her behavior is very good also. Her teacher told me she did notice that Savannah does not like it when other children touch her. Shocker! I apologized for not alerting her to that and let her know that Savannah has never liked people touching her unless she instigates it. (Very good trait, hope she keeps it.) I guess a little boy would not stop touching her hair, Savannah was moved to a different table with a friend. Everything is better now. I AM SO PROUD OF MY LITTLE SCHOLAR!!
GO SAVANNAH!!!!!!
I love you all!! Love, Tracy

November 5, 2007

Hi everyone!
Thank you Mom for your encouraging words. They always make me feel better. Thank you also for our anniversary presents. We love and appreciate them! Thank you Suzy for driving me to Georgetown! We had a good time didn't we. Thank you Violet for making sure that my pre-meds were adjusted, this week was much better! Thank you Betty & Chuck for the delicious dinner on Monday. And Sonya the girls loved dinner this week also! Thank you guys so much!!!

This week I had a different nurse because Violet finally decided to treat herself to a vacation. Andrea was my nurse and she was great! Thank you Suzy and Andrea for staying on top of everything for me. My levels were up from last week which baffled me because I had 2 weeks off and had low levels. Last week I had 2 chemos and my levels improved. I don't ask, I just do what I am told. I Love You God! We were seated near a couple that lives in Four Seasons (in Dumfries). I actually met them in the spring and saw them in CT once. It is nice to keep up with everyone here and there. (Can't remember names for anything.) He was inpatient this spring for 6 weeks for pneumonia, and other illnesses. Wow have I been lucky!! He still has a pretty good attitude. We talked about their grandkids, they are girls 3 & 4 yrs. 1 boy on the way, and Sas and Laila. Sounds like they would get along very well. Suzy and I were out of there around 2:30. Great timing to beat most of the traffic. When we got home the street was filled with about 20 kids. (School was out for parent/teacher conferences.) I loved it! Hearing them all playing and laughing~the best sound in the world! Savannah has almost perfected riding her "2 wheeler".
Today she learned how to turn and ride off of the curb. She is so excited. After watching for a few mins. I needed to go lay down of course, so I took myself inside and let David continue with what they were doing.
I really did feel much better this week, but kept reminding myself to take it easy. I rested last week and my levels improved, maybe that's what I am supposed to do. You know how easy that is with active kids needing supervision every minute or they will cut hair, use nail polish as eye shadow, or lock the other outside for fun. They were very good this week. David was able to take them to dance on Tues. and to school most of the week. Our lives were pretty boring until Fri., then it felt like we were still living our regular lives. Laila woke up @ 4:30 and could not go back to sleep (she only does this when she has a nightmare). I slept on and off until 7. got the kids ready for school, took them there, picked Laila up @ 11:25, left with Dawn N. to take Jasmyn to school and shop, we stopped by K-Mart to ck out stuff for the kids for Christmas, picked up Jasmyn after being stuck behind buses and redirected around the parking lot away from her school which freaked poor Dawn out about being late (me too), then to Toys R Us for the same thing, we did very well! As soon as we got home it was off to pick up the school age kids. David arrived just as I was leaving to p/u Savannah and meet her teacher for a conference. I was able to leave Laila with him. After the conference I picked up Laila for a make-up dance class. Traffic was so BAD it took 25 mins to get there (usually a 10-15 min trip)! I was able to relax with Dawn O. during class and catch up. We got home around 6:30 and I was asleep by 7:30. It felt good to be normal again, just wish I had the energy for it.
Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers, I know there were alot of extras this week.
I love you all!! Love, Tracy